Has Your School Woken T.F. Up?
Fatherhood on Friday: Too many schools Call The Mom First when there’s a problem, and that’s a problem.
A couple weeks ago, we learned about a thing that we thought wasn’t a thing anymore. Based on the hundreds of responses, though, its thingness perseveres.
When Dad 2.019 Speaker K.J. Dell'Antonia, an author and podcaster and all-around stellar person, posted the above image to her Instagram feed, the response was swift and voluble: This happens a lot, and Enough Already.
If you live in a household with two hetero parents and the mom is the first point of contact, having a default setting to Call The Mom First when there’s a problem works out fine. But when you don’t, the policy smacks of Leave-It-To-Beaveritis. And it’s annoying as hell, especially among non-communicative exes with complex custody schedules.
We know teachers work hard, and it’s not like those sophisticated communication trees grow on trees. We also know sensibilities are changing, but we parents have the power to change more quickly than our institutions, and it’s our job to work with the cards we’ve been dealt.
So we’ll keep going as relentless, visible, courteous, squeaky wheels. We’ll attend PTA meetings and back-to-school nights. We’ll bring our kids to doctor’s appointments. We’ll set up our own alias emails that forward to everyone who needs to see them.
And we’ll keep calling out the schools that can’t seem to transcend old gender norms, even though we’re getting awfully tired of doing it.
IN THE NEWS
David Letterman’s interview with Shah Rukh Khan is a wonderful look at how fatherhood connects us, regardless of celebrity or how many dishes we can cook.
Despite efforts to cease bullying in schools, incidents have actually increased over the last three years. What can we do to stop it?
Are extreme school safety drills having an adverse effect on children?
“So here’s what I learned [about negotiating with a crying toddler]: Don’t say no, at least not at first.”
“Kids have been ‘forgetting’ to do their chores since the beginning of time-and parents have been nagging just as long.”
More schools are teaching kids to cope with their emotions, and they have a contentedness and calmness that wasn’t necessarily here before.
At what age do you realistically expect your kids to be financially independent?
What creative ways have you found to create more quality family time?
It’s not your imagination: There are more allergies than ever.
PORCHLIGHT POSTS
- “It is as though they feel they must apologize for claiming the human prerogative to hurt — for admitting that they are people, and not flesh bags containing mostly privilege and water.” — Phil Christman; What Is It Like To Be A Man?
- “Don’t get me wrong — I was comfortable with my decision to end my child-making days, but it did make me pretty sentimental.” — Clint Edwards; When the Youngest Asks, the Youngest Gets
- “I don’t want to debate the relative strength of maternal or paternal bonds. For one thing, a lot of that conversation seems based on unhelpful stereotypes about ‘innate’ feminine qualities, etc.” — Séamas O’Reilly; When the Little Lad Becomes Poorly, I Finally Get to Know True Love
- “My husband and I haven’t been moved to make a snap judgment about what this means for our son’s identifying gender — ultimately that doesn’t matter anyway.” — Tonilyn Hornung; If My Son Is A Princess For Halloween, Will He Get Tricks Or Treats?
- “Starving kids deserve more energy than someone’s dumb tweet.” — Christian Lee; ‘Winter Is Coming’ Should Mean So Much More
‘GRAM OF THE WEEK
Do you receive the Dad 2.0 Summit Newsletter? You should! In it we share all kinds of information and news about the Dad 2.0 Summit. Add it to your inbox! It’s the perfect way to start planning for our ninth summit, coming to Washington D.C. in 2020.
Share your fatherhood news and/or stories with us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Medium using the #FoF hashtag!
Originally published at https://www.dad2summit.com on November 1, 2019.
