Closer To The Bad Things
If you’re thinking the #MeToo movement hasn’t touched your family, your daughter may be protecting you from her pain.
If there’s anything positive to glean from the splenetic donnybrook of Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination, it’s that 1) women are finding the courage to tell how they have been annoyed, unnerved, and/or terrified by men, and 2) the men in their lives (as seen in these videos) are starting to pay closer attention.
We say “starting” because there’s a long way to go. And that’s in part because, as Monica Hesse wrote this week, “a lot of effort goes into protecting men we love from bad things that happen to us. And a lot of fathers are closer to bad things than they’ll ever know.”
There are still, somehow, men among us who doubt these stories, who shame survivors, denounce memories, and excuse actions that should be reprimanded. They rage against a machine of their own making, armed with hashtags and bespoke entitlement. It’s not a good look.
It’s not much better, though, when your daughter feels she needs to withhold her pain because she’s concerned you’ll get angry and demand retribution–or worse, wince with distaste at a “taboo” topic like her sexuality.
What can we do? We can be better. We can prepare ourselves to listen and provide support. We can resist the impulse to make it about us, and convert their story into a problem we need to fix. We can acknowledge our adult (and almost adult) daughters are sexual beings. We can realize it’s not gross to buy a gross of tampons.
We can believe, and we can teach our children to do the same.
And we can admit that it’s time to get closer to the bad things, acknowledge our behaviors that contribute to them, and use that discomfort to bring about the change that needs to happen.
IN THE NEWS
Want your kids to “become confident and independent decision-makers who know themselves?” It can happen.
Parents, at what age do/did you have “the talk” with your kids?
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one-third of adults don’t get enough sleep, and there are consequences.
“This, then, is the full-time father’s challenge: Raise a happy, well-adjusted child, but without becoming the favorite parent.”
“Whatever else you do to try to manage, shape or influence the problems you see in your child’s behaviour and development, try not to make it worse.”
“This is the landscape of the modern American family. We are hooked to our digital conveniences and it is having an effect.”
A new study has found that higher levels of stress may lower a woman’s chance of conception; however, the same was not found for men.
This is National Bullying Prevention Month, and there are lots of ways parents and families can participate in bully prevention.
The stay-at-home share of U.S. parents was almost identical to what it was in 1989, but the share of dads at home has risen from 4% to 7%.
- “Every now and again, however, I’m given a sharp jolt, a reminder that I’ve spent, and continue to spend, much more of my time focused on children and family than the majority of men.” — John Adams, My Experience of Fatherhood is Different to Most
- “It doesn’t take too long to recognize that everyone has their challenges. We just have different challenges.” — Michael Kwan, The Other Preschool Parents
- “I am thrilled that our national, collective toxic bro culture is being nationally reexamined and scrutinized and punished for centuries of entitled douchebaggery.” — Gavin Lodge, Opening My Male Mouth…
- “At the end of the day, we all owe someone something, be it money, helping hand, or apology.” — Whit Honea, Mental Health, Masculinity, Hearings and Cookies
- “There is a very real possibility that a woman you know, perhaps even one that you love, has a story that you have never heard.” — Jeremy Barnes, This isn’t Political
‘GRAM OF THE WEEK
Do you receive the Dad 2.0 Summit Newsletter? You should! In it we share all kinds of information and news about the Dad 2.0 Summit. Add it to your inbox! It’s the perfect way to start planning your trip to San Antonio.
Originally published at www.dad2summit.com on October 5, 2018.