Close Called It
You probably know a mom who felt as unfulfilled as Glenn Close’s did. We’re the men who want to stop that from happening.
At last weekend’s Golden Globes ceremony, amid all of the shiny people exchanging shiny things, a speech by Glenn Close received a roaring ovation. As Close accepted her Best Actress award for The Wife, which is about a woman who supports her husband’s status as a celebrity author at the expense of her own talents and aspirations, she tearfully said:
“I’m thinking of my mom, who really sublimated herself to my father her whole life, and in her 80s she said to me, ‘I feel I haven’t accomplished anything.’ And it was so not right.”
This struck a chord with many women in the ballroom, who nodded and applauded fervently. And frankly, it stayed with us, too. Our culture is full of stories of wives who have sacrificed their professional fulfillment for parenthood, because stereotypes and accepted “norms” dictated so. We’re the men who don’t believe in those stereotypes, and who don’t want this generation of mothers to have this same experience.
It helps that our society seems to have accepted that raising a family is actually one of the most challenging and useful accomplishments an adult can achieve. But we’re also working toward a time when de facto sublimation is over. The time has come to raise our kids together, embrace the sacrifice that such a commitment presents, and work as hard as we can anyway to help each other be fulfilled however we need to.
IN THE NEWS
Modern parenting in the digital age suggests we need time for everything. It doesn’t have to be this way.
These days, if you’re writing about parenting for a living, as many in our community do, you may need a side hustle. Or several.
Growing up with economic anxiety can have negative effects on a child’s health.
“When it comes to my career, the grass is as green as I make it.”
“The thing that humans want most is to feel that they belong, that they are loved unconditionally. Listening is the easiest and most effective way of showing this unconditional love to our children.”
“It’s sort of like they touch each other a little bit, but they almost exist in separate lanes.”
We’re so focused on screen time for our kids, but what about us?
Parents, how do you encourage/model imagination and creativity for your kids?
Are we coddling our children too much?
PORCHLIGHT POSTS
- “The only things I could think of at that point were kicking the door in, breaking a window, or trying to pick the lock.” — Jason Reynolds; Laundry and Keys
- “The only slight downside to this, taking some of the sheen off my parental pride, is that I have absolutely no memory of giving him this advice.” — Henry Elliss; Fatherhood: I’m a Midnight Special-adviser
- “There is so much fear, discomfort misinformation around sex and disability out there today.” — Mike Reynolds; Sex, Disability, and Learning to Confront our Ableism
- “We should enter conversations with our partner and children with the intentional expectation of hearing something new and powerful.” — Saliha Bava and Mark Greene; Listening with Curiosity Builds Relationships for Parents, Kids
- “I had pushed her away by being a surprisingly bad partner to her. I realized all of that in the 30 to 90 seconds I was on hold. Before I spoke to anyone else, I hung up for the last time.” — Roberto Santiago; I Was a 20-Year-Old Republican (An Immigration Post)
‘GRAM OF THE WEEK
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Originally published at www.dad2summit.com on January 11, 2019.
